three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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