It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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