So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
