hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
