I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
