Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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