The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
