New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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