at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
