I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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