I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
