He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
