I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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