He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
