hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
