Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
