I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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