Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
