She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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