if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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