Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize