It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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