Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
