It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize