i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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