Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
