god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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