Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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