hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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