Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You pole danced in your parka.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
