how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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