Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize