I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
pray to the hookup gods
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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