Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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