I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
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The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
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She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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