Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
