is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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