Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize