the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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