your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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