i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I love having hate sex.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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