when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
