did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
