He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
