Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
