Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
40s are totally the cure
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
