I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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