Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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