I want to stick my p in your. b.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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