Don't you send me to vm
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
