you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
