You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
