So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
