Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
