Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
