I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
