Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
