I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
