What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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