Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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