My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
