Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
