You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
