So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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