okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize