I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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